Braveheart meets Zatoichi in this sword-and-sandal-and-sleet epic that may be splashed liberally with arterial blood, but doesn’t take itself too seriously. The Roman 9th legion headed by charismatic general Titus Virilus (Dominic West) rides north to crush the Picts with the Pictish-speaking centurion Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender, who must be used to being gore-soaked after Inglourious Basterds). The Picts ambush and slaughter them, then chase the handful of survivors led by Dias through a landscape that’s almost as hostile as the Scots. It’s not Gladiator, but it’s entertaining enough. 8/10


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