Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Bad robots try to take over the earth, good robots try to stop them. That’s the plot of every Transformers film, I believe. It has to be simple because there isn’t much time for it in between all the sequences of things fighting, things blowing up, and things transforming in complex and unfeasible ways into other things, which then fight or blow up. There’s dialogue, but you won’t be able to hear most of it. Probably just as well, because most of it is drivel.

Field notes: the bad robots are called Decepticons and are mostly silvery-grey, the good robots are called Autobots and have a more colourful palette. This is the only way to tell them apart, because they all speak like the bloke who does those gravelly trailer voiceovers for action films. And the hero’s girlfriend may look like a robot, but is in fact a human actor. 5/10

Released June 29, 2011.

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